Accurate Post Titles

I Paid an Obscene Amount of Attention to Something Stupid But I Had an Emotionally Complex Response to It So It’s Totally Worth Your Time to Read This Post

I Confirm All Your Worst Suspicions About Some Group of People You Viscerally but Vaguely Dislike

I Describe Something I Mildly Dislike as the Worst Thing in the World Because Clicks

I Describe Something I Mildly Like as the Best Thing in the World Because Clicks

Something Terrible Happened to This Celebrity and While I Won’t Say So Directly I Am Really Glad About It and You Will Be Too Because It’s Not Like They Deserve To Be Richer and More Famous Than Us