Boise State University is seeking a specialist in precisely your area of study. Additional specializations in all of the other things you’ve studied, published on, or expressed the slightest interest in at any point in your scholarly career are also highly desirable. We have, in fact, designed this position specifically to match your cv, and fully anticipate offering you both an interview and a campus visit, both of which will go so stunningly well that it will be all you can do not to start pricing houses and friending members of our faculty on Facebook. We will, however, be awarding this job to another candidate entirely, whom we will describe to you in our rejection letter as “a better fit.”