DAY 1: Let there be light, God said, and there was light.

DAY 2: Let there be morons, God said, and there were morons.

DAY 3: Hey, morons, God said, I created LIGHT.

DAY 4: I mean, I’m just saying, God said. None of you guys could have created light. You’re too stupid! Hey, you want me to part the earth from the waters? OH WHOOPS BECAUSE SOMEBODY JUST DID HEY WAIT THAT WAS ME.

DAY 5: [God performs subtly aggressive victory dance.]

DAY 6: What, God said, you don’t like the way I’m doing things? Oh, right, like you morons could RULE THE FRICKING UNIVERSE.

DAY 7: You … you what? God said. You want me out? You know what, FINE. I would rather rest anyway. Enjoy creation, suckers.