the adventures of Jenner and Phelps

I heard as good a story as I know this week about old Phelps the Provost of Oriel — you probably remember him, with the beard and the black straw hat. Jenner was a fellow of Jesus, a high-minded dissenter and fanatical tee-totaller. He was dining at Oriel and the Provost asked him to take wine with him:

Jenner: Sir, I would rather commit adultery than drink a glass of that.

Provost: (in a low, stern voice) So would we all, Jenner; but not at the table, if you please.

— C. S. Lewis, letter to his brother Warnie, 5 November 1939